I head down the stairs like I do every morning, but for some reason this one was different. I walked down and as each step went by, I had the clearest flashback to a time when I was at my lowest.
I recall my heart beating slower, and slower. I remember holding onto the railing with all I had in me as I started to lose my footing. I reached my hands slowly down the wall in search ofthe light switch in which I never found.
I remember getting to the bottom of the stairs where my legs now felt like liquid, and my mind was dazing off into another world. As I slid my hands across the wall into our kitchen, I hit the light switch on my way down to unconsciousness.
When I came to, my head was throbbing and my mind was a blur. I remember calling out to Taylor, but no sound would be heard as I also had laryngitis at the time. I was finally able to push my voice to be heard, as Taylor would then find me passed out on the kitchen floor.
What a difference a year can make.
One year ago to this day is one I may never forget. I received the life changing call I never expected to receive at such a young age! I remember seeing the Sanford number pop up, knowing it would be news of what they found in my colonoscopy results. When I answered, the voice on the other end is something I’ll never shake. He told me, “We have your results, but it’s best you come in to hear them, as we are not supposed to give these results over the phone.”
My heart sank.
As I sat there waiting for the doctor my mind was racing and thinking the worst. The doctor came in and explained, you have Ulcerative Colitis in which has no cure, however, in most cases can be managed with medication. Here is a prescription; I’ll see you again in 3 months. Now, of course there were more words…but that is all I heard.
This day in no way actually prepared me for my unique situation. That supposed 3 month follow-up time frame he had given me, actually turned into 3 different treatment plans, 2 hospital admissions, spending Christmas in Hotel Sanford and eventually surgery.
One year. 12 months. 52 weeks. 365 days. That’s It; that’s how long it has been since I have had my diagnosis.
How can one year go by with a blink of an eye, yet so many things occur that can change your life forever?
How can 12 months go by, and your son is now a toddler?
How can 52 weeks go by and almost half of them were spent in pain?
How can 365 days go by and you allow yourself to feel anything but joy?
We don’t have the power to choose some of the cards that we are dealt in life. We are not invincible and we are certainly not in control of a lot of things, so let’s control the ones that we can!
Let’s spend the next year waking up with intention.
Let’s spend the next 12 months choosing to be kind.
Let’s spend the next 52 weeks making memories with loved ones.
Let’s spend these next 365 days falling in love with our lives every single 525,600 minutes of them.
Because, you just never know the difference a year can make!